Empowerment after forgiveness and repentance

Empowerment after Forgiveness & Repentance


The book of John is the only gospel in which we find this part of the story after the resurrection, especially Jesus’ questions to Peter “Do you love me?”. For me, this is a beautiful story of restoration and empowerment, after the hard road of failure, forgiveness and repentance.

Failure

Peter, many days before, had been left crying bitterly at his failure and lack of faith. The very day that Peter declared that he would die with Jesus, when asked if he was a disciple, he denied it vehemently. Peter simply caved in to fear and the dread of the unknown after seeing Jesus voluntarily submit to his arrest. When Peter had lopped off the ear of one of the guards, Jesus had healed the man.

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Sermon: Accountable before God

Readings:

This morning in Romans we read:

Why do you pass judgment on your brother or sister? Or you, why do you despise your brother or sister? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. … So then, each of us will be accountable to God.

And in Matthew we read:

So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.

The reading in Matthew started with:

Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?”
18:22 Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.

Some say that means that we have to forgive 77 times and others say that’s 490 times: seventy times seven.  So, imagine with me, for a moment, if God actually kept score of our forgiveness of each other, the same way that we keep score of how others have wronged us. How would that ledger look? Do you ever make it to forgiving someone 77 times for one offence? Ever?

forgiveness, behavior, heart, forgive, let go, let God, move on, grow, bitterness, anger, pain

And then imagine if God was as quick to pass judgment on us as we pass judgment on others. Romans asks us today, why do we despise each other? Some versions say “treat them with contempt”, others use the word “belittle” or “look down on”, and still other versions say “set at naught”. To set at naught means to treat as of no account, to disdain, to hold in disregard, to treat with ignominy, to hold as insignificant.

A loving Christian is meant to care, deeply, for others: family, friends, church members & neighbors. But when we go into survival mode, that vulnerability and authenticity get shut down. Poets have long claimed that hearts grow cold and become hardened:  we treat others with disdain and insignificance. In our attempt to protect ourselves from distress and dull the pain, we divest ourselves of caring and responsibility.

When broken people live together in a broken world, pain is inevitable for anyone who loves. The only way to avoid the crushing pain of a broken heart is to make your heart unbreakable. So, we become the person that says “I don’t care” or “whatever”, when the luxury of giving ourselves the time and space to feel is threatened. And much of this despising or indifference towards others comes from looking inwards at our hurt and pain, and the defense mechanisms that we naturally have to block this out: just stop feeling. And so our hearts become hardened. If you choose the becoming “unbreakable”, you will also choose to lose your compassion.

What is critical to remember is when a heart becomes hardened, the brain has its own reasons for pressing down upon vulnerable feelings. To feel sets the person up to get hurt and the brain is geared towards survival at all costs. To bring emotional defenses down, the heart must be softened. The question is how can this be done? For me, personally, forgiveness has played an incredible role. I have repeatedly worked with Ho’oponopono meditation, where you sit and repeat: “I love you, I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you.” I’ve used this focusing on loving myself, loving others, loving God.

Forgiving and letting go is so much more than just my relationship with other people: a hardening of heart inevitably means I have hardened my heart towards God. And when you forgive yourself and others, truly forgiving them, you begin once more to experience God’s love and light in your life.

Jesus knew this: which is why he said we need to forgive an offense 77 times (or 490 if you read the KJV). If we want to be compassionate in this world, we need to allow people into our hearts. People will hurt you. People will take advantage of you. People will manipulate you. Not everyone and not all the time, but some will. And you have two choices: you can either choose to forgive or you can choose to become hard. You can’t have it both ways.  And forgiving is a hard practice: for most of us, it is not something we just do once and then we’re done. Hence the need to forgive again, and again.

When we remember the offense that the other person has committed against us, we have to repeat: practicing forgiveness. And for a while we will forget and let it go. But the memory of the hurt and offense will come back again, and we will have to repeat once more. And repeat once again. Not because you are going to leave yourself in a situation where that person will continue to hurt or take advantage of you, but because you are choosing a relationship with God over and above all things.

When you are consciously aware that such-and-such a person is “like this”: let’s say that they always ask you to lend them money and they never pay it back. When you make a decision to forgive them and also to keep that person in your life, you know that you will be exposed to more requests for money that will not be paid back. And then you have two choices:

  1. You can give them the money, as a gift, freely, with love; or
  2. If you cannot find it in your heart to give them the money lovingly, you can learn the life lesson of saying “no”. Of learning how to say “no” with love, without attacking them; without putting them down. Just “no”.

But if you give them that money with resentment, it’s like you are putting a curse upon them, because in your heart: you are cursing them and resenting them. If you are going to give, then give with love and joyously.  Make it truly a blessing.

1 John 4: 20 reminds us of this truth:

“Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.”

There’s a lot of emotional intelligence involved in being a true Christian! You have to set loving boundaries in your life: where you love yourself enough to be true to yourself, and yet you love God enough to be willing to do the work to be open, vulnerable and authentic. We say we love God, but then we’re not willing to let go of our pain and hurt. That’s mine – my precious. I’m holding onto that pain. I’m not letting it go, I’ve been carrying it around for so long now, it’s part of who I am.

We say we love God, but then we’re not willing to let go of our judgments and prejudices against others. Paul says in Romans 14: don’t judge those who are vegetarians, or those who eat pork, or those who honor the Sabbath differently from us. Are we supposed to respect the Sabbath on Saturday, or on Sunday? We live in a society where dressing in a nun’s habit is okay, but it’s not okay to dress in a hijab. A society where girls should be allowed to dress anyway they like – but it’s their own fault when they get raped for dressing seductively. If we read Romans 4, verses 2 to 4 from the version The Message, we read:

For instance, a person who has been around for a while might well be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume he should only be a vegetarian and eat accordingly. But since both are guests at Christ’s table, wouldn’t it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or didn’t eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table. Do you have any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God’s welcome? If there are corrections to be made or manners to be learned, God can handle that without your help.

So who are we to judge another by appearances? Everyone has been invited to God’s table and is to be warmly welcomed. Even those who have hurt us. Even those who have somehow betrayed us. Our accountability before God is individual – I will be judged according to what I have thought, said, done or failed to do in honor of God. You will be judged and held accountable for what you have thought, said, done, or failed to do for God.

I leave us with this parting thought about the way we live our lives, in forgiveness and compassion for all others who are invited to the table:

None of us are permitted to insist on our own way in these matters. It is God we are answerable to—all the way from life to death and everything in between—not each other.  (The Message – Romans 14:7-8)

 

 

Learning from humble fishermen…

Peter, Peter, …

Lectionary Readings:

  • Acts 5:27-32

Childhood memories, especially childhood memories from beach-houses and idyllic holidays, are usually the best moments etched in our minds. Well, not all of them…

Our school year was the US one, not the Panamanian one – at odds with all my friends.   One of the benefits, was that whenever we’d spend our holiday at the beach, we’d have the beach completely to ourselves.  Us and the fishermen.

Our beach was fabulous, except for the occasional jellyfish  It was very unusual for us to get them still alive, but their dead bodies wash up on the shore regularly.  A little scientific research, and I found the following:

even detached tentacles from the jellyfish itself can still sting and cause you pain, irritation, allergic reaction etc. It’s important to understand that the nematocysts (stinging structures found in the tentacles) can remain very active long after the jellyfish is dead, as long as two weeks.[1]

I didn’t get a live one – I got a tentacle wound around a leg.  Initially it was just pain in my calf, then on the thigh where it had stung some more, then the realisation that the leg was going numb… By this stage, my beach holiday was miserable… The pain and the fear.

What do you do? Grab your child, stick them in the car, and run off to the ER – about a 20 to 30 minute drive away.  One problem: Mum & Dad didn’t HAVE a car.  We’d been dropped off at the beach, and were to be picked up at the end of the holiday.  No cell-phone.  No phone lines. No electricity. No taxis… Just us, the beach, and a few fishermen.

So off to the fisherman’s house we go!  He was home.  He had them sit me on a stool in his dining room, and then rubbed my leg down with some oil that he had sitting in a bottle on the shelf.   Apparently, though, that wasn’t enough – the poison had been in my leg for too long already and he was worried it was going to my heart.  So he pours a glass of this oil, for me to drink.  Cod Liver Oil. All of it.  Down.  Now.

Please God, NEVER AGAIN.

One day of rest, and it’s all back to normal!

Today, I’d like to talk to you about a Fisherman you’ve probably heard about a lot:  Peter.

We find him today before the Sanhedrin, questioned by the high priest:

28 We gave you strict orders not to teach in this name,” … “Yet you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and are determined to make us guilty of this man’s blood.

29 Peter and the other apostles replied: “We must obey God rather than human beings! 30 The God [that…] raised Jesus from the dead—whom you killed by hanging him on a cross. 31 … that he might bring Israel to repentance and forgive their sins. 32 We are witnesses of these things, and so is the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to those who obey him.

The Peter that Jesus asked to follow him, this isn’t the same Peter we find standing before the Sanhedrin.

I can only imagine that Peter grew up in a home quite like that of the fisherman I visited.  No school. No cool electronics and gadgets. Nets mended and repaired over and over again.

And then Jesus shows up.  Peter had a choice. He left the world’s security behind him and chose to walk with Christ. … it’s a walk of faith. He left that boat, the net, the bankroll of fish and began a new fishing enterprise:   Peter and Co. Fishers of Men. “we catch ’em, God cleans ’em”

The Peter we know from the Bible was brash, bold, opinionated, emotional, volatile, quick to talk, and he made a ton of mistakes. We love him because there’s a lot of Peter in each of us. We know this Peter: he’s proud – so proud that he couldn’t possibly let Jesus wash his feet, he tells everyone what to do, he speaks and acts before he thinks, he chopped off the, and he even walked on water for a moment in true faith.   But inside, a fearful man.

And yet, Peter was to be the Rock on which the church was to be built.

We may envy the closeness he had with God: That special relationship with God; that constant communication with Him.  Like many of the other “heros” we find in the Bible:  I envy what they could accomplish for God. It was amazing how God can take these weak and imperfect individuals and do such amazing things through them that they could so greatly impact people. Unswerving faith. They trusted God when it didn’t make sense, when it wasn’t popular and when things were not going their way. They are legends that we are talking about thousands of years later because of the kind of faith that they had: “That’s the type of person that I want to be” or “that is the type of faith that I would like to have.”

Peter, this is the man:

  • When Jesus was on the mountain and was transfigured with Moses and Elijah it was Peter who wanted to stay and build shelters for all three of them.
  • When Jesus asks: “Who do people say the Son of Man is?”, and then followed by the questions: “But what about you, Who do you say I am?” Peter is the only one to respond: “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”
  • When Jesus told Peter he was going to be killed it was Peter who said he would die with him. It was Peter who assured Jesus that even if everyone else denied him he wouldn’t.
  • It was Peter who drew his sword and cut off Malchus’ ear as the soldiers came to arrest Jesus.

Peter’s greatest desire was to be with Jesus – we see this when he walks on water:

  • The disciples are out to sea and there is a great storm around them. These experienced fishermen, they were afraid. Jesus walks out on the water towards them. Peter speaks up and says, “Lord, if it is you, tell me to come to you on the water.” Peter wanted to get to Jesus. And yet, even when Peter stepped out of the boat, and he became afraid because of the wind, taking his eyes off of Jesus and sinking. He cried out some of the most amazing words in the entire Bible: “Lord, save me”. Three simple words so packed with meaning.

When Jesus asks if the disciples will turn their backs on him, it’s Peter that responds:   “to whom shall we go, you alone have the words of eternal life, we believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.”

Then we see Peter, at the height of Jesus’ popularity and triumphant entry into Jerusalem.  Celebrating and happy that HE is on the side of the Messiah.

I can just imagine him:  “Yeah, I’m one of his disciples.  You know, I’ve known him probably the longest out of all of us.  And I’ve got an inside track with him, ‘cos I’m important, you know.  I was picked to be one of the elite, of this special force that’s with him.”  Chest puffed out.

And so, imagine Peter’s complete confusion when Jesus, somehow, before his eyes, changes.  Jesus starts to talk about death.  And how salvation isn’t going to be war or rebellion.  There’s not going to be any glory in battle.   He’s going to go to the cross.

The same Peter that sworn that he would never turn his back on Jesus and that he would follow him to the death – suddenly he doesn’t recognise Jesus any more.  This isn’t what I signed up for – we’ve supposed to triumph – we’ll be famous.  What on EARTH are you talking about?   How is your death supposed to help our cause?

And so we find Peter, doing exactly as Jesus told him that he would: denying him three times. After Jesus was handed over to the Pharisees and the Romans, Peter stuck around to watch. Three times he was recognized as one of Jesus’ disciples, and three times Peter denied it, even cursing the name of Jesus.

And then Jesus looked into his eyes.  I can’t imagine the pain of the moment: because I’m sure that in Christ’s look there was no accusation.  Not even pity.  It would have been a look of love “it’s okay, I understand, and I forgive you”.  Not I told you so.

All his bravado and declarations, gone.  On the most important night of his life—on the most important night in history—Peter, “the Rock,” sat alone in a dark corner weeping. This wasn’t common place for him. He was a strong self-reliant fisherman. He was bold! He was courageous! And now, he was completely undone. The Rock had been shattered.

And it’s only upon that shattered Rock that Jesus can build the church.  Peter needed to stop trusting in the physical, in his strength, in his motivation, in his way of seeing the world, and accept that there was another way.  Peter had human courage, but he lacked spiritual courage.  He was brave, but only as far as he had control of the situation.

Every single day we make choices that show whether we are courageous or cowardly. We choose between the right thing and the convenient thing, sticking to a conviction or caving in for the sake of comfort, greed or approval. We choose to believe in God and trust him, even when we do not always understand his ways, or to second-guess him and try to do it on human strength.

When we’ve been broken and then revived by the Holy Spirit, we will follow in spite of the masses; we’ll be faithful in spite of public opinion; powerful in spite of the lukewarm standards.

That’s the Peter we find standing before the Sanhedrin.  The one that has been purified by the fire of trials and knows what he really looks like on the inside – has thrown “himself” away and allowed himself to be filled by the Holy Spirit.

Most of us are like the Buddhist scholar that comes to see the Zen Master.  An expert: we talk about our extensive doctrinal backgrounds and how much we’ve studied and learned.  And the master listens patiently and makes tea. When it’s ready, he pours it into the scholar’s cup, until it’s overflowing and runs over the floor. 

The scholar jumps up, crying “Stop, stop! The cup is full: you can’t get any more in.” 

And the master replied: “You are like this cup: you are full of your own ideas of the way.  You come and ask for teaching, but your cup is already full.  I can’t put anything in it. Before I can teach you, you have to empty your cup.” 

If we want to be filled with the Spirit of God, and let like Peter, we need to allow Jesus to shatter the rock of our own illusions of grandeur.