Today, I’m back to one of my favourite passages in James 3: “the untamable tongue”.  Having control of the words of our mouth reflects fully in our relationships. We use words to build others up and encourage them, or we can tear each other down. 

We are warned in the first verse of James not to presume to be teachers (those purporting spiritual authority above others), because these teachers will be judged more harshly.

We all make mistakes, especially in what we say. 

A slip of the tongue for just a moment can destroy a relationship in just a few words.

No amount of saying “I’m sorry, I was angry and I didn‘t mean it” can rebuild the trust that was destroyed by our words.

Having perfect control of the tongue – to encourage others and drive their growth – is the measure of the perfect man, able to use his self-control in every way. 

From Galatians, we know that one of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control:

Perfect control of your tongue is the hallmark of being filled with the Spirit.

Consider the effect of the words of a school teacher on a child and the impact this may have on them throughout their lives:

• You’re useless and can’t learn anything.
• Obviously, you’ll never go to University.
• I believe in you! Youˋre so hard-working and putting in so much effort, youˋll definitely do great things in the future.
• I know you can do this! Even though it’s been hard for you to learn these things, youˋve done a great job with this homework. 

And this is even more powerful within the Church.

Imagine what happens when someone in leadership says to our youth:

• You’re so rebellious, it’s impossible to teach you. There’s simply no hope for you. 
• With all this rebellious spirit you’ve shown, I’m sure that you will always stand tall and be strong when going against the crowd. You have the strength to be a future leader. 

As we are reminded in James, a large ship is guided by a small rudder. And the tongue of those in leadership can shape the future of our Church and members. 

We don’t have to be in a leadership position to use the power of the tongue. 

• gossip is mentioned about 133 times in the Bible
• cursing shows up more than 65 times; and
• complaining is mentioned more than 100 times.

Proverbs 20:19 reminds us:

A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much.

Worse yet, those who eagerly listen to gossip are considered to be of low character. (Prov. 17:4)

A curse is calling for harm or injury to come to someone, and 1 Peter 3:10 suggest that if we love life and want to see good days, then we should guard our tongue against speaking evil and our lips from lying.

Swearing is not necessarily using curse words – in fact, consider swearing to be verbal abuse.

• You’re stupid and I hope you die.
• You will never amount to anything. 
• You’re so fat and ugly, no one will ever love you.

These are all curses, even though they don’t include any swear words. Instead, we are asked to speak positive and encouraging words to each other. 

Complaining is not the same as letting people know when something is wrong. It comes from the soul and focuses on the problem, rather than on seeking solution.

This is why in verse 7 of James 3 we read:

The tongue also is a fire… It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. 

We see examples of this in every day life.

• Gossip spreads like a wild fire, especially through social media and chat groups.
• You’re in a meeting discussing a problem and looking for solutions:  One person complains and soon ten people are complaining and the vibe gets dragged down. Soon, everyone has forgotten that the meeting was to look for solutions.
• One kid in the play ground starts to bully and verbally another, and soon you have a group of kids picking on the victim. 

So, what are we supposed to do?

These verses of James 3, verses 1-12 don’t really offer us the solution. They simply outline for us the power of the challenge and what happens if we fail to control the tongue. 

It’s only when we get to verses 13 and following that we discover the solution:

Wisdom and understanding is shown by a good life, by deeds done in humility and the humility that comes from wisdom.  

So, if we want to drive growth in our community or family, is starts individually: each one of us has to learn to control our tongue.

It’s living from the inside out – what we have on the inside will be shown to others by what we say and do.

Isaiah 50, verse 4 from this week’s lectionary reading offers the following:

To encourage those who are tired and weary.

The Lord GOD has given me a trained tongue, that I may know how to sustain the weary with a word. Morning by morning he wakens, wakens my ear to listen as those who are taught.

This is what we are asked to do.

When we use our words for encouragement and building others up, then we are living a life filled with the presence of the Divine.